A Stargate Xmas
by Chris7221
Summary: It's a Stargate Xmas story, obviously. Set in Season 10. And yes, it has Jack in it. Please RR, rated T to be safe. Updated chapter 2. ABANDONED.
1. Chapter 1 A Mission

This is my first Stargate fanfic so don't expect too much. Criticism is always welcome. Oh yes and I'm infamous for OOC.

I don't own Stargate blah blah blah. You've probably heard this several million times now.

* * *

The team trudged through the undergrowth, hacking away with machetes. It was incredibly thick undergrowth, snaring their feet like fish in a net, dragging at their legs.

"If it gets any thicker we'll have to turn back!" said Sam.

"It will indeed get thicker." answered Teal'c.

"Oh nonsense, it's already as thick as it will get and I'm stuck!"

"Oh great. That's the third time today. Are you sure there's an Ancient outpost here?" lamented Daniel as he freed the stuck former space pirate-turned-intergalactic hero.

"No, but- OOF!" Mitchell replied as he fell flat on his face. As he got up he said, "We can't keep going much longer."

"But-" said Daniel and Sam at the same time, both falling over.

As the sun began to dip below the horizon, the team turned around and began their march.

And Vala got stuck yet again.

* * *

"What do you mean you can't dial out?" asked Mitchell in a concerned voice.

"I can't. The DHD doesn't respond."

"Great. We're marooned, aren't we? There isn't even so much as a primitive village here, so good luck finding a power source." Daniel said, examining his surroundings. They were among the ruins of some sort of temple. Then something caught his eye. It was a patch of text showing behind a layer of dust. And it was in Ancient.

"I think I've found something," he said, pulling out his notebook and adjusting his glasses.

"Indeed."

Daniel dusted off the stone and was greeted with a few more characters and a gate address.

"I'm bored already. What does it say, what does it say?" inquired Vala.

"It says: 'power source, seek here'. That's a rough translation, but I think it means that we can find a ZPM there."

Sam suddenly perked up. "ZPM, where?"

Daniel had recorded the message and address and was pulling out a camera. "It's an address. And I don't think it's on the map."

"Well, I guess we'll just sit tight and wait for rescue."

* * *

They didn't have to wait long. Less than an hour later a naqahdah generator and care package had arrived. By this time Daniel had a clearer translation and Sam had figured out what was wrong with the DHD ("Sam, I'm glad that you figured it out but I don't understand a word you're saying."). Vala rushed through first and greeted the team with a cheap plastic whistle ("I just love dollar stores! You know, I bought a lot of your gifts there!").

* * *

The team was just starting to relax in the briefing room when General Landry walked in. Vala tried to salute and managed to hit herself in the face.

"We just tried to dial the address you found. It's an orbital stargate."

"They have orbital gates in this galaxy?" asked Daniel.

"No, what I meant was that the planet is in pieces. Off topic, your leave has been granted. I'd advise you to get wrapping, because Christmas is only a week away!"

And with that, they left the room.

* * *

It was already late, so Sam went home, changed, took a shower, and ate (in that order). She was about to retire to bed when the phone rang.

"Carter."

O'Neill's familiar voice crackled from the other end. "Sam, I was gonna throw an Xmas party. (I call it Xmas!). I'm not getting leave for another couple of days, so I thought that I'd let someone else do it."

"What about Mitchell?"

"Drunk. Anyway, I thought you should do it this year. Daniel did it last year, and I'm not letting Teal'c do it. He tried to throw it on Chulak! Then his 'traditional Jaffa treat' made Daniel throw up in the-"

"I get the picture. I'll do it."

"Great. Just don't invite Woolsey like Daniel did before."

* * *

Reviews please! Next chapter: Gifts!


	2. Chapter 2 Gifts

Sam had everything figured out. She would have a party at her house. She made lists and checked them twice. Only then did she go out shopping. She had bought a variety of food; a frozen turkey being the main course. She also bought crackers, a few fireworks, and all those little accessories that you need for a complete Xmas.

It was an exhausting day. She would shop for gifts tomorrow.

* * *

Vala was shopping. She figured that it would make for a good holiday if she bought really expensive gifts.

She had it planned out. She'd buy a new laptop for Sam, some sort of artifact for Daniel, and maybe some beer for Mitchell. But she couldn't figure anything else out, so in the end she decided to simply wrap up some cash.

It didn't work out. Trying to 'raise money' for the 'Mal Doran Helping People Thing' didn't really work. The answer?

Vala walked into the department store and came out twenty minutes later. She didn't use cash. Or credit. Or anything. She walked out with over five thousand dollars worth of merchandise.

She did have a little issue though...

Vala was about to leave when a guard stopped her.

"Were you trying to walk out?" he asked.

"Well, yes darling."

"Please no silly talk. Come with me!"

Uh oh! she thought. "All right darling- hey, what's that?" As the guard turned around to look she pulled out a stun gun and shocked the guard. It sent him flying across the room and into a wall. She left promptly to steal a nice artifact from a museum (for Daniel of course!).

* * *

As it happened Teal'c and Jack were shopping together. Jack had picked out a book.

"Hey Teal'c, do you think this would be a good book for Carter?"

"What is it O'Neill?"

"Uh, it's 1200 pages long... Advanced Quantum Physics. And it's all technobabble."

"It is probably a wise choice."

"Great." O'Neill said and he threw it into the basket.

* * *

Sam was shopping too. Sitting at her desk, she stared at the screen in front of her. She was bidding on a lock pick kit on Ebay. From what she could tell all fifty-five pieces were made of quality stainless steel, hardened and still shiny. It also included a book. Sweating with anticipation, she hit the refresh button.

Sam smiled at her success. This was only the third time and she was already winning big.

* * *

Daniel had decided to go shopping on his own this year. His first stop was a mall. While passing by a bookstore on his way to the electronics store something caught and eye. It was a book titled 'Antarctica- An Ancient Civilization?'. He bought it then continued on his journey.

* * *

Mitchell had not remembered to shop until the evening. He went to a grocery store for some food then proceeded to the same mall Daniel was at.

* * *

The two literally bumped into each other. Mitchell, distracted by a stack of cheap movies walked straight into Daniel, who was pushing a cart full of items. "Sorry, can- oh hello Cam."

Mitchell dusted himself off. "How's the shopping?"

"Fine, I'm almost done actually. I just need to figure out something for Teal'c."

"I'd say some movies. I can help you pick some if you want." They headed into the movie store.

* * *

Next Chapter- Something! 


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